Childhood Dreams

We all have something we wanted to be when we were children. Chances are we weren't thinking in terms of being thin...those wishes came with puberty. It seems that from then on so much time was spent focusing on the outside, that we somehow forgot to take care of the inside. I count myself in that group.

One of the things that characterized me as a child was my love for drawing and painting. I used to be able to look at something and replicate it on paper. As a child I wanted to be an artist, but most of all I wished I had all of the tools one needed to be one - canvas, paints, sketch pens, pastels, colored pencils, markers, and a desk specifically designed and allotted for the art-making process... a desk! How simple of a childhood dream! A drafting table was all I wanted! Unfortunately painting was, as it is now, an expensive hobby. The table never happened, who could blame my parents for not getting me a $300 table!?

For years I neglected that artistic part of me...I always knew it was there, but I just didn't make it one of my priorities. I instead relied on art appreciation, immersing myself in countless art history books, as a small glimpse into what could be but wasn't. This was a time for me to learn about the different styles, schools of thought, theories, and aesthetics of the art world. It certainly had its value, but not actively creating had its downside. My creative urges remained stagnant, hidden, and suppressed for years after.

During my rediscovery trip to Joshua Tree, I realized that I had an unfulfilled childhood dream that as an adult I could actively fill. A book I hadn't seen in years made its way into my backpack that weekend. It was a book about the spirituality of creativity, and a guide to finding your creative self again after years of neglect. After doing some of the exercises, I felt that little creative spark light up inside again. How exciting! What did I do? I decided to give my inner child what it wanted - a drafting table!

I went to the store, purchased the table, and took it home. It required assembly, and I kid you not I was up until 3am putting that thing together. Halfway through the process I realized I needed a screwdriver to finish it, and I didn’t have one! ...a little known fact is that "Focused Lilia" is a force to be reckoned with...so I drove to the store at 2am to buy one! 3am rolled by and, alas, a brand spanking new drafting table sat in my room. Like a child, I stared at it, with tremendous joy overflowing inside...what a wonderful day! I have to say so far this has probably been a highlight for the year, even with all of the changes I've been through in my life recently. My inner child is at peace, happy, and nourished!

What is your childhood dream? Whatever your childhood dreams were it's not necessarily too late! Try and see if you can maybe evolve your dream to fit your life now. I certainly cant drop everything and become a freelance artist, but I can engage in it during my free time. Consider what steps you need to put it into action. We often get bogged down with the superficial and forget about the peace that trying something new and forgotten can bring. Take a look inside and see what you come up with, your inner child is waiting!